Recently, I read one of those inspirational posts that stream through LinkedIn on a daily basis. Posted by Kathy Caprino, it stated that when we are finally able to be at one with our soul, everything (presumably in life) will be well. Further, all that chasing we do, and the chaos we create, will come to an end. I was struck by this post and printed it out, and for days made every effort to soak in those 21 simple words. It is my intentional path, each day I am blessed to experience another day, to mindfully give myself a break when I’m not on top of it, as well as to give myself credit for putting in the effort to expand my vision, my perception. I am not as effective in showing up as I’d like to be. More often than I care to admit to, I self-criticize–a lot. I moan and groan about the smallest of things, and these are situations that often occur in a day in the life of everyone with a pulse. I am not some exception. Still, I moan and groan. Increasingly, I am losing patience with those whose path I might cross randomly each and every day. I notice it quite often–I am not on my game.
When you are aware–and what I mean by “aware” is that you are living in the present–you can intuit when you aren’t showing up, and when your potential is sidelined by too much mental chatter. When you are mindful, you learn to own your shortcomings and when they are tripping you up. Owning means you don’t downplay or make excuses because you backslide now and again. You are mindful that you aren’t being your best self, and you attempt to adjust your mind-set to that awareness. On a conscious level I get this. Still, I denounce my efforts, seeing them as ongoing obstacles, thus, I am unable to dwell in that place where I want and need to be in order to be the person I am attempting to become. I am chasing. I am creating–even if it’s not intentional–chaos. Each day, as I read the 21 words in Caprino’s post it suddenly hit me–I see where and how I fit into those 21 words. What paralyzes me is self-acceptance. I have conversations with people and often find myself saying in my head as I hear them speak: you are not doing the work. I sense it more so by what they talk about and how they talk about it. And I have a more visceral reaction when I sense it in women more so than men. Women are naturally harder on themselves than men. It might explain why I recognize so easily when I have slipped. In particular when it comes to past life choices, despite whether the past life choices were well-thought out at the time or not.
To accept the Self means to not criticize who we are and how we evolved into that flawed human being. If we are on a conscious path, it is understood that there are lions and tigers and bears on any passage, but more so on a conscious one. Moreover, we make a concerted effort not to judge those who are living through their own unique, and sometimes joyful and sometimes painful, journey. This is exceptionally challenging to do in a culture in which we’re constantly posting about what we think or feel, or the information we are bombarded with swaying us away from our best self. Our natural instinct is to go with the status quo. Thus, we react in our moment, not being mindful; instead, getting caught up in the chaos.
I have a trust factor on this: I believe it is extremely probably to be “at one with the soul,” even in the midst of chaos. The struggle to work within the concept of being at one with the soul requires distinguishing between chasing and pursuing. Because if what you are giving your heart and soul to requires chasing, it’s not your authentic Purpose.