I intend to . . .

Here we go again. This is the end of the line. Our 14th year into the New Millennium has briskly come to pass. So often at this time of year I have made commitments to do better, to be better, to act better, to give better, to just damn change! I cannot count the number of “I intent tos” that I’ve started my new year off with. As I sit before a floor-to-ceiling window and gaze at the rain falling down over Los Angeles, I have attempted to reflect on my year and to be open-minded in determining exactly what I accomplished. I had to remind myself that a few years ago I decided that my list of “intend tos” for the new year was impossible even if I mindfully made an effort to carry them out in the span of 365 days–so much of our lives is a work in progress. Here are some of my “intend tos” over the past five years: to become more environmentally aware, to give more to charity, to donate more time on things of substance and less on things that have no genuine value, to be kinder to myself and even kinder to others, to deal with others knowing that they have a story, to be truly grateful for the life I have, to LOL even more than I already do, to stop trying to make sense of the Universe, to trust myself more, to have more faith, to touch the soil of places I’ve never seen before, to talk less and listen more, to reach out more often, to stay in touch with the people who matter, to open my heart just an inch more, to scratch something off my bucket list, to live more authentically this year than in previous years, to get closer to family, not to make assumptions that I still know my friends, to write a new book, to start a blog, to study the Bhagavad Gita, to stop procrastinating, to live deeper, to study something new, to fall in love (uh, that’s not all on me), to stop regretting, to not feel fickle or uncommitted when I change my mind, to be consistent, to not be complacent, to know that I matter, to cut down on the complaining, to come to terms with the knowledge that there will always be unanswered questions and experiences I will never have, to judge less, be more tolerant, be more humble, to follow my truest nature, to embrace aging, to challenge myself more, to be open to new possibilities, to become more aware, to honor the unknown, to intensify my compassion, to risk even more, to be less trivial, to “let go” sooner rather than later, to personalize less, to make this the year, to lean into my destiny and not to be suspicious of it, to assert myself more and not feel like it’s intrusive, eat healthier, respect the earth, trust the process, move toward what I choose to do, to evolve beyond my comfort zone, to live my deepest potential, to connect with my life’s purpose, to look in the mirror buck-naked and say to the reflection “Damn, you’re beautiful”, not to be so hard on myself, claim my victories, be proud of whatever positive energy I put out into the Universe, care less about not being good enough, redefining “good enough”, to make a difference, study a religion, refresh my French, to return to the flute, to not preoccupy myself with not having attained my goals on my timeline, strengthen my discernment, expand my generosity, quit with the insecurity, to not take good health for granted, trust that the Universe will always provide and that God doesn’t play dice, finalize unfinished emotional business, to meet “The One”, to be here now, to be a light unto myself.

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